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Joke of the Day

"spent the last 36 minutes yelling at this ugly little girl to get off my lawn before realizing it was my naked reflection in the window."

"I USED VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO TODAY AND NOW I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING!"

"What has two legs and two legs Dog"

"Average jokes don't end how you think they... Median"

"Guy: Wanna go out? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: It's just like soccer, just because theres a goalie doesnt mean you cant score."

"It may have looked like I was doing crunches but I was just trying to get up."

"Jokes religious people find offensive Why did chicken cross the road? He had cancer on his balls. P.S. He was actually Allah and not chicken"

"Shouldn't elevators have a different name for the trip back down?"

"I once met a woman who had 12 nipples That's sounds good... Dozen tit"

"I just pooped my pants in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole nother level."