69574

Joke of the Day

"Did you know PMS is mentioned in the Bible? ""...and Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."""

"Told girl on flight she was pretty and she replied ""Tell me something I don't know."" So i asked if she remembered the quadratic formula."

"What did the gay guy say to the scared straight guys? ""You guys are fucking pussies!"""

"Two Jews walk into a bar... Midget Hitler laughs and walks under it."

"What's a shy and retiring accountant? An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring."

"The 3 tragedies. The 3 tragedies in a man's life: 1) Life sucks. 2) Job sucks. 3) Wife doesn't."

"Women often claim that men are 'only after one thing'. Nonsense. They have mouths and arseholes too."

"My girlfriend just made a peepeeAND a poppy at the same time Should I break up with her?"

"The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading ""blink if you're being held against your will"""

"If a meteorite hits a planet, what do you call the ones that miss? A meteor-WRONG!"