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Joke of the Day

"I was shocked when they said I should spend a month's income on an engagement ring, but dammit girl, you're WORTH 900 favs."

"My wife tried to sue me for impotence But luckily they couldn't make it stand up in court"

"A man walks into a bar A paraplegic rolls."

"My ex wife recently told me I run away from my problems. Apparently not far enough."

"What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat stink and be merry!"

"What gets easier to pick up the more it weighs? Women."

"3 days ago I got a pass-code lock that takes a picture whenever someone enters the wrong code in my phone. So far I have 26 pictures of drunk me."

"I wear a cape when I'm driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I'm going somewhere to fight crime."

"What's the worst part about viewing porn on a windows computer? The sticky keys."

"I went to a General Store the other day. Couldn't find anything specific."