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Joke of the Day

"Remember when social awkwardness was a bad thing and not what drew us together into online communities of self-loathing and horrible puns?"

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"If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain,..... Can a hooker get laid off?"
"I added Paul walker on xbox live the other day.. too bad he spends most of his time on the dashboard"
"I just realized the Dictionary.com app on my phone, reads out any word I type, including 'penis'. I can't wait for that meeting tomorrow."
"Two greek anarchists are sitting together making molotov cocktails. One says ""so, who are we going to throw these at?"" the other replies: ""what are you, a fucking intellectual?"""
"what's the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bathtub? The girl in church has hope in her soul whilst the girl in the bathtub has..."
"What's small red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator."
"Dear 6-year-old me: As an adult you won't need to know cursive but you will need an ability to type with your thumbs. The future is weird."
"What's another name for a prosthetic patella? Faux-knee"
"It's hard work being a commuter. You have to train a lot."