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Joke of the Day

"I added Paul walker on xbox live the other day.. too bad he spends most of his time on the dashboard"

"These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did."

"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship."

"There's no i in denial."

"I was the principle subject in a lengthy experiment on laziness They told me the results but I couldn't be fucked listening."

"So I think we have pretty much covered what to do if life gives you lemons"

"Duck Sausage Would you call Cajun sausage made from animated young ducks Huey Louie Andouille?"

"how is an antivirus similar to porn? You don't have to pay for it."

"My friend once told me ""You must be the most pedantic person in the entire world."" ""Third most, actually."""

"I just quite my job at the helium factory. I won't be spoken to in that tone."