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Joke of the Day
"""I can't wait until this one orange erases years of poor eating choices."" -me, dieting"
Next Joke
"What is it called when a large piece of foliage is the same on both sides? Symmetree."
"I think i'm spending too much time around my gf's family. I mean, her husband's going to notice sooner or later."
"What's the biggest difference between men and women? The phrase ""I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film."" is a good place to start."
"What's faster than light? Darkness, my old friend."
"What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a cartridge? A snapshot."
"So a robot walked into a bar and beat up a man with a bottle... ...he was charged with battery. I'm so sorry."
"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""fear not,"" he says and points at Jesus. ""for he has resin."""
"My 5 yo after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: ""can you squeeze Capri Suns outta those things or just milk?"""
"Two dyslexics.. walk into a bra."