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Joke of the Day

"I know a great knock knock joke Go ahead, you start."

"I love Al Pacino. But it's his brother Cap that really gets me going."

"Did you hear Apple is going into the wine business? Their vineyard will produce every varietal of wine... except ports."

"I dunno why people say hurtful things like... ""Wanna go for a run?"" or ""Try this kale."""

"What's the definition of a good actor? Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself."

"I went to an airport the other day. As I was about to catch a plane, I thought ""My dog would be proud."""

"I'm 100 years old and I keep misplacing my old toys I'm losing my marbles!"

"Tomorrow France plays Germany... Their defense will try to last 90 minutes and beat their World War 2 record..."

"Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to *date* you."

"My roommate is such a hypocrite when it comes to sharing. Apparently it's okay for him to finish my leftover pizza, but it's not okay for me to finish in his girlfriend."