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Joke of the Day

"Not having tattoos is suddenly a great way to express your individuality."

"Every time you make a ""your mom"" joke, I call my mom to check. Most of you are liars."

"Australians don't have sex. Australians mate."

"Why are all liquor stores haunted? Because they're full of spirits."

"Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on Twitter right now....."

"How did the ancient Greeks seperate the men from the boys? With a crowbar."

"Why can't Americans play chess ? Because they are missing two towers."

"Apparently being a mother is the hardest job in the world. They're probably right. I can definitely see brain surgeons struggling to put Frozen into a DVD player."

"My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn."

"You know you're single when the only calls you get at night are Nature's."