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Joke of the Day

"A Polish guy bought a toilet brush.. three days later he went back to paper.."

"Dinosaur joke What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalottapuss"

"So two guys walk into a bar... and the third one ducks."

"<Tries to plow the road> Road: I have a boyfriend."

"""Y dnt u Muslims tell ISIS to stop"" Ok hold up *pulls out iphone* ""Yo ISIS habibi,its me plz stop"" ISIS:""ok habibi sorry,shisha tonight?"""

"A woman was on trial for murdering her husband with his guitar. The judge asked, ""First offender?"" She replied, ""No. First it was the Gibson, then the Fender."""

"An Olympian walks into a bar and says ""damn""."

"I have a splitting headache today. Voldemort must be back from the dead and attempting to kill me."

"[pharmacy] ""Can I help you?"" Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this? *lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*"

"What's a hipster's favorite kind of cigarette? Yours."