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Joke of the Day

"Dinosaur joke What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalottapuss"

"Hey did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? It had a reptile dysfunction"

"Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."

"Typical day Just saw Denzel Washington on the street and said ""Hey Denzel! Can I get a picture with you?"" And he's all like ""I'm not Denzel you racist piece of shit."" Classic Denzel."

"What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits till you're 13 to come on your face."

"I've got a bad joke for you. It went to jail for the things it did..."

"If I were to ask you out, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one?"

"I was going to have sex with you, but you asked what Mario Kart was and wore pants inside the pillow fort....I'm just kidding. I don't care."

"""Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in"" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter"

"This is Eric's wife. He accidentally left the house without his phone. TELL ME EVERYTHING."