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Joke of the Day

"One time I invited a guy over for dinner but I didn't feel like cooking so I just poured us each a bowl of cereal really romantically."

"The flying V Why is it when ducks fly in a V one side is longer. More ducks on that side."

"*quits Twitter to spend time with family* *remembers what family is like* *quits family for Twitter*"

"If - H 2 O - is on the inside of a fire hydrant what is on the outside? K 9 P"

"What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter."

"What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee? Don't worry, you'll fit right in."

"I have just been kidnapped by a fat dude in a red suit, shoved in a bag and taken to the north pole and wrapped up. Who put me on their Christmas list?"

"Organised a threesome last night There were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time."

"TIFU by mocking a reddit mod [deleted]"

"i have a joke, but not funny ."