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Joke of the Day
"If - H 2 O - is on the inside of a fire hydrant what is on the outside? K 9 P"
Next Joke
"A man asked Hitler "" Would you kill a jew for 8 pieces of gold? "" Hitler said : Nein."
"MY NEIGHBOR CAT MITZI JUST LET ME PET HER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 YRS NOTHING ELSE MATTERS RIGHT NOW ONLY MITZI & I EXIST"
"I'm gonna be so pissed if I die in the middle of an argument I'm about to win."
"Why did the billionaire keep winning at Poker? He played his Trump card."
"Did you hear the theme song for new Lego Blade Runner? Everyone's a replicant!!! Everything is cool when nobody's real!"
"Man at the dog park: Who's a good girl? WHOSAGOODGIRRRRLLL???? Me: *looks around* *slowly raises hand*"
"What do you call a dog with no hind legs? Dragon balls."
"When you sit next to a talker at the movies you're allowed to hit them in the face and move seats. It's in the ticket fine print."
"How do you know your friends are pleased with your Facebook post? They like it!"