68860

Joke of the Day

"Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn."

"I once went down on a girl without knowing she was on her period Boy was my face red."

"Where do you go if you need to weigh a whale? A whale-weigh station!"

"Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars."

"When you first meet a potential partner, slap them in the face. That way, later on in the relationship they cant say, 'you don't treat me like you used too!'"

"What starts with ""p,"" ends with ""s,"" and is really long? Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"

"What's big, black, and explodes when shaken? A COKe bottle."

"Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour? Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!"

"Why were the Ten Commandments so powerful? Because they were set in stone."

"Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers. They defend the ships much more eagerly. Edit: an adverb."