1508

Joke of the Day

"Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers. They defend the ships much more eagerly. Edit: an adverb."

"The price of a balloon has really gone up recently I think it's because of inflation"

"If someone ever asks you for advice just reply with ""Buy a penguin"". Imagine a scenario where that isn't awesome."

"""Nurse, I need 10 cc's of fluid, a scalpel and 100+ retweets about this kid from a celebrity on Twitter. STAT!"" - 2013 doctor"

"How do you give a catholic priest a circumcision? Kick the altar boy in the chin."

"A waiter took my plate before I was done and I watched him carry it away like it was my sibling who was just chosen for the hunger games"

"As Microsoft reveal the new Windows 10, people start to question what happened to Windows 9. Microsoft's answer: Windows 7 ate it."

"My favorite knock knock joke * knock knock * -whose there? * hapch * -hapch who? * Bless you!"

"Why do elephants drink so much? To forget"

"All those subreddits going private proves that Reddit's CEO isn't the person that should be in Pao-er"