68821

Joke of the Day

"Ah you love me that's great. Now I'll do a bunch of terrible shit because I need to be sure you love me no matter what"

"That awkward laugh when they've said something innocuous, but you're thinking something incredibly dirty."

"*gives you dictionary for your birthday* wow.. i don't know what to say ""that's why i bought it for you"""

"What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water? Bob."

"What is the difference between Trump's tie and a horse's tail? The horse's tail covers the whole asshole"

"Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year."

"My car's GPS has learned to say ""Your other left."""

"The iPhone 6S+ has been doing really well so far... It seems to be a huge 6S"

"Neil deGrasse Tyson will no longer be hosting NOVA. Looks like they had to cut deGrasse."

"F*&%. I keep forgetting the Titans"