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Joke of the Day

"My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh"

"If you come across a stranger in a dark alley immediately hug him so he knows you're not a threat."

"What goes dot-dot-croak dot-dash-croak ? Morse toad !"

"Always be sure to pay the Priest who performs the exorcism on your property. Or they'll come back and re-possess your house."

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? He still hasn't unwrapped his present."

"What if you found out that wheat bread is just a bunch of ants squished together that would be pretty spooky"

"What do a pimp and a cowboy have in common? They both know how to throw a ho-down."

"I've met some real pricks in my time but you my friend are the f*cking cactus."

"Top 5 causes of loose stools: 5. Indian food 4. Lactose 3. Coffee 2. Mexican food 1. IKEA"

"Why do we rub ourselves To rubadubdbub"