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Joke of the Day

"how sodomy started........ a good friend & an itchy butthole."

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"Sea World threw me out for trying to ride the manatee What's the big deal? It's not like I did it on porpoise!"
"All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental."
"What was the Feminist's least favorite subject? Trigger-nometry."
"What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric? ""Take us to your liter."""
"I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza last night. Must use Aloha setting."
"Why does the little mermaid wear seashells? Because the D shells are too big, and the B shells are too small."
"How Many Marshawn Lynches Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb? Only one. Just as long as you hand him the damn lightbulb."
"My dick was once in the book of world records... But then I got kicked out of the library."
"I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision."