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Joke of the Day

"By Putting the Punchline in the Title How do you screw up a joke?"

"Relationship status: Negotiating with the dog to lease space in his flat."

"Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? From trying to blow out lightbulbs."

"Contemplating the merits of the Oxford comma as I head down to Florida to see my parents, Donald Trump and Marco Rubio"

"Hate it when you open the fridge and can't find what you were looking for; like happiness and perfect abs."

"Billfold Biopsy While I was in the hospital, the surgeons found a large lump in my wallet... ... ... But they got all of it."

"What game do they play at Mexican carnivals? Guaca-mole!"

"When did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Tennish."

"With women it's not about how much money you make, what you drive or where you live at... LOL Who am I kidding, even the homeless women go after the homeless guys with the most stuff.."

"A dad in Alabama says to his son... ""We entered this world from the same birth canal."""