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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dirty old bus station and a lobster with boobs? One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Aaron Hernandez found guilty of first-degree murder He has been sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Not sure how much longer he's going to remain a ""tight end"""

"Its not drinking alone if the highway patrol has informed you they're calling for back up."

"Most people have X's. I have a bunch of Y's and WTF's"

"Meth addicts gets all their drug money from the tooth fairy."

"What do they call the doctor who released private health information after he got mad at his being given away? A Hipaacrite"

"How I met your father announced. Starring me and your mom."

"Then there was the guy who fell into a vat of molten optical glass afterdrinking too much. Just two glasses, and look what a spectacle he made ofhimself."

"I lived in Chinatown for a while. My Chinese friends always played jokes on me. ..I'm so tired of pee-pee in my Coke! It tastes horrible!"

"THIS IS THE COPS. WE KNOW YOU HAVE NWA'S ""FU*CK THE POLICE"" ON REPEAT IN THERE. COME OUT & SAY SORRY TO OFFICER DAVIS. YOU MADE HIM CRY DUDE"