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Joke of the Day

"Somewhere a village is missing its idiot. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't remember where I live."

"Just another day in Portland Oregon http://i.imgur.com/JL86MY3.png"

"Weekends are like an ORGASM: It takes a lot to get there and when you finally do, it's over in no time!"

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me? Both! Now get in the fucking van."

"God must be a woman Because just like my wife, she's always right"

"My ex-girlfriend was an opera singer. With her it was always ""me me me"""

"How do you make the king leer? Put the queen in a bikini! (From krusty the klown)"

"Police are on the look out for a Midget Fortuneteller... He is described as a Small Medium at Large."

"Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there's no more soda?"

"And on the eighth day, God let the dogs out. And there was much confusion among the Baha Men."