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Joke of the Day

"1 Buy a racehorse 2 Hire a TMZ reporter as the jockey 3 Tell him a minor celebrities is drunk at the finish line 4 Win literally every race"

"Why did the Earth suddenly enter a manic episode then go back to a depressive episode? Because it's bipolar."

"What is yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children."

"Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !"

"Why did the worker get fired from the hp computer factory? He threw out all the computers with ""dy"" on them."

"My wife kicked me in the balls today... She always goes for the low-hanging fruit."

"Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won."

"If a furry says they're sorry... ...is it an anthropology?"

"What's the difference between your Pacman high score and your child? I haven't beaten your high score."

"I just taped the TV remote to my dogs back so I'll never lose it again. Your move Apple."