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Joke of the Day

"Before they built this Trader Joe's, there was just an empty field with wild shoppers politely blocking each other's way"

"A local establishment wants to press charges on me for getting an erection on their property. Luckily for me, they have no hard evidence."

"Mr friend broke her hand today :( But on the other hand she's okay :)!"

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar... What, it could happen..."

"What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis."

"A Muslim walks into a bar. No one survived the blast."

"People often invent statistics to prove a point they are making. 5 out of 3 people who do this actually don't understand numbers."

"What did the leper say the the prostitute? Keep the tip."

"I'm still upset they never let me bunt in tball."

"[getting out of prison after 10 years] GUARD: *handing me a paper bag* here are ur things ME: did none of u monsters feed my tamagotchi"