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Joke of the Day

"[getting out of prison after 10 years] GUARD: *handing me a paper bag* here are ur things ME: did none of u monsters feed my tamagotchi"

"What's worse than AIDS? Beads."

"Yesterday was National Girlfriend day and my girl friend really enjoyed it .. ... my wife .. not so much."

"I tried to teach my grandma how to eat noodles with chopsticks She accidentally made a sweater."

"A woman recently tried to flirt with me using a electric mixer. She said she was going to whisk me away."

"Just been on bigbustycoons.com Damn, those guys have really good bus companies."

"""I'm wet and have crabs."" That's what sea said."

"Meets girl at bar. Takes her to Ikea. Quickly learns the difference between one-night stand and one nightstand."

"Did you know Paul walker was on the radio when he died? He was also on the dashboard, the windscreen and the steering wheel."

"If you commit 90 sins, u will get caught 45 times. Why? Because Sin 90 = Cot 45!"