193619
Joke of the Day
"What is the worst thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""
Next Joke
"Have you ever considered shaving that beard and gluing it to your bald spot? ... Oh! You meant a question about the job position!"
"Look on the bright side would be horrible advice to someone trapped in a tanning bed"
"What happens when the Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises."
"With only one plug in this hospital room it's not looking good for Nana's respirator if my phone battery dies and I have a good tweet."
"Women can't seem to resist my charms. What? They're magically delicious."
"[in car with wife] ""did you take $20 from my purse?"" *sips $3 coffee* no *gets rear ended and $17 worth of sour candy falls out of glovebox*"
"Nothing kills a good party buzz like the paramedics showing up and acting like drama queens."
"What is a sure way to get a girl at a bar? Order a Cosbypolitan cocktail"
"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance - My stages of getting ready for work"