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Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my cigars. Cuban, shipped in bulk and 7 years old."
Next Joke
"I hate when I miss the garbage truck and just have to throw trash in the neighbors hot tub again"
"Shame about Amanda Todd, killed by dyslexia. The label on the bleach said ""seek attention if ingested"", not ""seek attention and ingest""."
"Why do people carry around umbrellas? Because they can't carry themselves"
"When I was a younger man girls used to ""check me out"". Now women just ""keep an eye on me"""
"Sometimes I feel awkward cause I don't quite know what to do with all my limbs, but then I imagine if I was an octopus and I feel better."
"I started a company that sells land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."
"Someone just honked their horn to get me out of my parking space quicker so now we will both be here until we're dead."
"What do you call a one night stand with a robot? Nut and bolt"
"I'll do algebra. I'll do trigonometry. I'll even do calculus! But graphing is simply where I draw the line."