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Joke of the Day

"Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?"

"Why does a honeymoon only last 7 days? Because 7 days makes a hole weak"

"Young God: ok, a little hydrogen and- *chemistry set explodes* Mom: what was that?! God: nothing! *scoops resulting universe into shoebox*"

"When cows jump over barbed wire fences.... there is udder destruction!"

"My four year old cousin told me: Home is where you can sit on the toilet as long as you want."

"Willpower? Sure. It's in the garage with my unicorn."

"What do I do after I die? Idk EDIT: Read the letters out loud :)"

"Teacher: ""Sam what is the outside of a tree called?"" Sam: ""I don't know."" Teacher: ""Bark Sam bark."" Sam: ""Bow wow wow!"""

"If Einstein were alive, he would listen to 10 minutes of scientific breakthroughs before asking you to describe free online porn again."

"What stretches further, skin or rubber? Skin, it says in the scripture that Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 3 miles to the next town."