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Joke of the Day

"What stretches further, skin or rubber? Skin, it says in the scripture that Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 3 miles to the next town."

"me: ""so is this a date?"" hitchhiker: ""um"""

"If Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman had a baby together, what would the kid be like? I know there's a joke in there somewhere..."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle His wife is already pregnant"

"I think it's really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Steve, agrees with me."

"What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument? Good point"

"My dad called to ask if sending an email to the USA costs more. I told him a LOT more, better not risk it"

"did you write ""call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex"" on the bathroom stall? [wearing my ""I hate gary"" tshirt]: no"

"WAITER:What would you like? ME:What would YOU like? W:Excuse me? M:No one ever asks you, do they? W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you."

"What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus? He never saw it coming."