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Joke of the Day

"I went out with an Asian girl once I asked for a 69, She said ""Fuck off I'm not cooking egg fried rice this time of night"""

"REMEMBER: If you mention another race, you're racist."

"How did girls text before emojis? Hey I can't wait to see you tonight! PARTY HAT MARTINI GLASS NOISEMAKER BEER MUG CAT DOG SUNGLASSES POOP"

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar... ...it was tense."

"Did you hear about the mechanic who was addicted to brake fluid? He said he could stop at anytime."

"What's the difference between windows 10 and a jehovah witness None, they just keep asking you to let them in"

"I was beating a mouse Then it clicked."

"People are like trees: you can figure out their age by cutting into them & counting the rings. Right? I didn't do this for nothing, right?"

"Half of my life has been spent hoping people don't see me."

"If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood."