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Joke of the Day
"My parents kidnapped me. I was then born."
Next Joke
"Pro tip: If a woman asks you how she looks, the correct answer is not ""like Dan Aykroyd."""
"What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving off a cliff? [A Good Start.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obKLdou0LH0)"
"How much for these old batteries? For you? No charge."
"I keep having this dream that I'm being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?"
"Taking Viagra for my sunburn. Doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!"
"Have you heard about the new Corduroy Pillow? It's been making headlines."
"If I got 1 for everytime a girl called me unattractive I'd be attractive"
"What's red and sits in a corner? A baby with razorblade. What's red and green and sits in a corner? The same baby 3 weeks later."
"Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower is coming."