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Joke of the Day

"When is a door not a door? When it's a plank."

"The Monkey Do you know why the monkey fell out of the tree because he was fucking dead."

"What do people and jellybean have in common? No one likes the black ones"

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In a mirror."

"[God making trees] God: ""They're alive but not. Every now & then they drop food."" Angel: ""I don't--"" God: ""Also they breathe the opposite."""

"At midnight, thousands of people will be at Times Square to witnesss Ryan Seacrest's balls drop."

"A favourite high school teacher's go-to Knock Knock joke. Knock knock. *-Who's there?* Interrupting cow. *-Interrup-* **MOO**"

"Common scene Q: Why are condoms transparent? A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!"

"Thinking of getting my hair did and maybe also work on my grammar."

"Jewish having a hard time concentrating Go join a concentration camp"