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Joke of the Day

"What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine? They both don't work and always take your money"

"I told my wife ..... I'm going to quit my job to become a stand up comedian, and she said, ""You can't be serious""!!!"

"My friend is a telemarketer. Sometimes, when he's relaxing, I'll call him out of the blue and piss him off."

"I used to date the lead singer of the cranberries Until i found out she was cheating on me....turns out she had some turkey on the side. :D"

"If Apple made cars... ...would they have Windows installed?"

"Did you hear about the stationary store? It moved."

"Why didn't the two tampons talk to each other? Because they were stuck up bitches."

"What's Master P's favorite fruit? Uhh' banananaaaaaa"

"Be kind to strangers. One of them could end up being your coroner."

"*mugger pulls a knife* Mugger: gimme your money Me: well this night took a SHARP turn *later* Doctor: it's a record for amount of stabs"