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Joke of the Day

"I bet when something really awesome happens to a dung beetle they say ""Oh, shit!"""

"A wolf goes costume shopping... He found a lamb costume on the clearance rack. But it still wasn't sheep enough for him."

"What do Downton Abbey and Premenstrual Syndrome have in common? They're both period drama"

"I forgot :( Whilst climbing in the roof space to get down the kids Christmas gifts, I found a present I'd forgotten last year. Such a shame - they would have loved that puppy."

"Just when you think the celebrity deaths are done for 2016, Wham! there's one more."

"If Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are on a boat together, and it sinks, who survives? America"

"Well this is a little....... A falcon goes into a restaurant and runs into his ex-girlfriend thats on a date. The falcon says ""well, this is Hawk-ward"""

"What did the architect say about the rack? How does she not fall over?"

"Bully: ""Hey, four eyes!"" Me: ""Don't you mean... fork eyes?"" [Turns around. Stabs bully with forks tied to glasses. Becomes class president.]"

"You know what they say, once you go black.... You're a single mom."