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Joke of the Day

"When I post a joke... ...and no one rates, I just assume that they all died from laughter.!!"

"*breaks glass* *pulls fire alarm* [outside] Great, now that you're all here, I want to correct this impression in the office that I'm weird."

"I just named two flies in my house Buzz and Buzz Jr. If you want me to come to your house and name shit it's $20/hour."

"I recently got addicted to this new only chicken diet Guess I'll have to go cold turkey if I want to stop."

"My foot just fell asleep, I'm terrified that drunk white people will notice and start drawing moustaches and penis' on it. #ILoveYallReally"

"What do you call a short sleeved British shirt? A tea-shirt. Please don't hurt me."

"How does Bob Marley like his doughnut? w' jammin it"

"What do Pavlov's dogs call storefront bell-ringers? The Salivation Army."

"Jews are lazy... ... essentially a group of people who couldn't be bothered to read the sequel. -Will Bailey (Cambridge footlights)"

"What causes a pilot to cry after sex? ...the [mace](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mace_(spray)"