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Joke of the Day

"I just named two flies in my house Buzz and Buzz Jr. If you want me to come to your house and name shit it's $20/hour."

"Warring nations should hurl their politicians at each other."

"My angry wife controls everything. She even said I had to stop eating candy at work... ... so I had to fire her"

"What did the black man say to the white man? What the fuck is up with that orange motherfucker?"

"You can blame those ""meddling kids"" all you want. But let's face it. Your entire plan was to dress up like a ghost."

"With everything going on at reddit you would think that Pao would at least regreddit :)"

"Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors."

"Why is Apple donating money to cancer research? ""Cancer stole our jobs!"""

"What is Homer Simpson's favorite rapper? A. Butter Finger"

"Why did the baker's hands stink? Because he needed a crap."