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Joke of the Day

"[Tim Burton tries baseball] COACH [rubs eyes]Got it now T: Yes C: Ok. Pitch T: A dark haunted tale starring Johnny De- C: I'm gonna kill him"

"""I can hear my annoying neighbor crying to Adele's new song as she throws away her empty, clinking beer bottles."" - my neighbor"

"I'm not Fred Flintstone... But I can make your bedrock."

"Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor"

"I saw a magician driving through my neighborhood, and then he turned into a driveway."

"Q: Why did the computer squeak? A: Someone stepped on the mouse."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alvin ! Alvin who ! Alvin zis competition - just vait and see!"

"2 hunters walk into a bar... ...That was the worst time to misinterpret the word 'duck'"

"""Hi, how much for a slice of pizza?"" A slice is $2.50, and second slice only $1. ""I'd like 3 second slices please"""

"Is it just me? ... or are circles pointless"