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Joke of the Day

"If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to to stand in front of them!"

"Turns out yelling ""I can see your package through those tights!"" gets you kicked out of a ballet."

"Why is an aborted baby so hard to fool? Because It wasn't born yesterday."

"When two Lesbians get married. Who pays the shopping bill ?"

"What's the difference between ISIS and a piece of shit? I don't know any difference either."

"Have you seen the movie called ""Constipated??"" You probably haven't because it hasn't come out yet."

"If lemonade is made from lemons, what's a colonnade made from?"

"This reminds me of a saying my dad used to tell me as a young boy growing up ""I hate you son"""

"I just got carded at Forever 21. This is bullshit!"

"I ordered a book on near death experiences. The anticipation almost killed me."