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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Mexican who loss his car? Carlos"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"I've had enough of my girlfriend's obsession with auctions. So I bid her farewell."

"What's the name of that Adam Sandler's movie were he plays an immature adult?"

"I joked about a robot uprising until I waved at an automatic paper towel dispenser and nothing happened. THEY'RE EVOLVING INTO PRETTY GIRLS!"

"The EU has said that more needs to be done to help the Syrian refugees, especially the children. May I recommend swimming lessons?"

"If you arrive fashionably late in crocs... you're just late."

"A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar... A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar and says, ""hey, big boy. You single?"" He says, ""yeah! How'd you know?"" ""You're fucking ugly, for starters."""

"Did you hear about the newly sponsored gay NASCAR team? Its always in the rear of the field."

"I've been doing this new program called 'Cooking with Nature: Chinese Edition' You'd think it would be tough, but it's just a wok in the park."