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Joke of the Day

"I burned a kid in a wheelchair today. Hot wheels."

"What did the man say to the giant squid? What's kraken? JAJAJAJAJJAJJAJA"

"What was the man running around ? - from my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep."

"Why do female skydivers wear jock straps? So they don't whistle on the way down."

"How do you lower the United State's debt problem? Elect a female president."

"No thanks CVS, I don't need a bag. I'll just wrap up my purchase in the 12 foot receipt you just gave me."

"Being a vegetarian is a missed steak. That's the joke. Now, fuck off!"

"What did Santa Claus say to his wife after he watched the weather report? It's going to rain dear. ^Yeah ^I'm ^sorry ^its ^late ^guys."

"What food is given to ebola patients? Pizza because it can be slipped under the door."

"Do not fap on a plane.. Unless you enjoy hijacking"