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Joke of the Day
"Why do female skydivers wear jock straps? So they don't whistle on the way down."
Next Joke
"When your body is a solid 10 But your intro and conclusion need work"
"What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo, apparently."
"Customer: Excuse me, are you the manager? Those Xmas Hams are expired Manager: Um... [changes sign to ""Vintage Hams""] Hipster: I'll take 4"
"[Drive-thru] CRONUS: Yes- I'll have the bucket of popcorn children Intercom: *crackling* Popcorn chicken, sir? CRONUS: omg what did I say"
"Lawyers aren't all bad.. 98% of lawyers make the other 2% look bad"
"I saw Lenin pick his nose the other day... Communists have no class..."
"Two guys walk into a bar... third guy ducks."
"If a guy spread rose petals all over my apartment, I would literally look at him and just be like: ""I'm not picking this up."""
"You know what the first sign of AIDS is, right? A severe pounding in the ass..."