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Joke of the Day

"2 men walk into a bar. The first 1 says ""I'll have some H20"" the second one says ""I'll have some H202"" The second one died."

"I have Tourettes you fucking bitch."

"[running away from killer] KILLER: YOU'RE GONNA TRIP ON YOUR SHOELACES THEN I'LL GET U ME: MY SHOES ARE VELCRO KILLER: NOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"I typed ""Missing medieval servant"" into Google... But it just came up with ""Page not found""."

"Apparently I have a few ""tells"" when I'm angry. But I light things on fire when I'm happy too so don't pretend you know me."

"How do you tell the difference between members of the GOP and ISIS? Skin color."

"Scientist have created five monkeys with autism. They were promptly made mods of r/jokes"

"How bad does an atheist smell? Ungodly"

"What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black? A glimmer of hope"

"what would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if he was a member of Al Qaeda? GET TO THE VIRGINS"