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Joke of the Day
"the year is 2086 and pizzas are delivering young men to your house"
Next Joke
"Hitler sponsors a 10k... He calls it the ""Master Race"""
"[first date] Me: *sees he owns a cat* Him: Are you a cat or a dog person? Me: *maintains eye contact* *pushes cat off the table* *leaves*"
"Q: what is the scariest religion? A: boo-dism. Im kidding its all of them haha"
"Did you hear about the incestuous hotdogs? They say they're in bread."
"Me: Ew, what sort of shop is this? It just sells dead birds? My cat: Pick out whatever you want, birthday boy. It's on me."
"Regarding Daughters Any father will tell ya that parents spend the first 2-3 years of a daughter's life trying to teach them to talk, and the next 15 or so trying to get them to shut-up."
"My co worker just asked if I could help file some documents. I said I was working on a huge project while she watched me play solitaire."
"Can the ninja throw his ninja stars? Shurikan"
"If there's two things I've learned in life It's that I'm awful at counting."