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Joke of the Day
"Who would win a football game between the 1989 Raiders and a team full of U2 lead singers? Bonos."
Next Joke
"Yesterday I took laxatives and laughing gas at the same time For shits and giggles."
"I wished I loved anything as much as my wife loves inspecting the pots and pans I wash by hand."
"Why are there ants on my toilet seat? Because of my sweet ass."
"Top ten Instagrams are of young women http://dadaviz.com/i/3971 *exclusions apply"
"When it comes time to claiming kids on your income tax. Hood rich"
"When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car."
"How many Tourette's syndrome sufferers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Damn fuck shit screw you dickhead just one asshole twat cocksucker."
"Genesis is my favorite rock group who've been around long enough to write a chapter in the bible."
"'Twas the night before Thanksgiving, and I'm out of breath I've been in the kitchen all day, cooking up meth."