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Joke of the Day

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."

"Why do lawyer's suits never have pants pockets? Because their hands are always in someone else's!"

"What do you call 250 dead politicians? A good start."

"What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? A taxidermist takes only your skin. [Mark Twain]"

"me: this MAN thinks he's ENTITLED to my time! hey buddy i don't OWE you anything!! my boss: do you...know how jobs work"

"Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? They had a lawn-distance relationship."

"How are Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd similar? Both's greatest hit was The Wall"

"I still have a lot of teen angst You wouldn't understand"

"What's the difference between an apple? A bike because a vest has no sleeves."

"Pete Rose had a 90 second ovation at the all star game. It brought a tear to his eye.... Because he took the over."