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Joke of the Day

"I just read a Facebook ad that said ""Come in a designer, leave a CEO."" Not sure why they're offering dating advice, but okay."

"I heard they found the plane.. Well at least Sarah Palin tweeted that she could see the wreckage from her house."

"When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers I stop at nothing to avoid them."

"Dear Santa, Last year you gave me a sweater for Christmas. This year I would prefer a Moaner or a Screamer."

"Where are the Halloween jokes?"

"What do hip pigs call their ladies? Fine swine."

"How do you make a dog drink? You put it in a blender."

"How many ""can't""s can a white girl ""can't"" before she literally can't even? my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day."

"It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car"

"Were Trump to propose a ban on Abortions... he could easily modify his slogan to ""Make America Late Again"""