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Joke of the Day

"if there were a zombie apocalypse i'd save a lot of kids but it would be only because i'd need them later to feed zombies so i can run away"

"What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Hell's Angel? Someone that knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off."

"(sheepishly putting my arm around pitbull) so is there a mrs worldwide"

"The same woman who said ""I'm your mom not your friend"" has sent me 17 Facebook friend requests."

"Good Girls Vs Bad Girls Difference Between Good Girls And Bad Girls Good Girls Open Few Buttons In Hot Atmosphere, But Bad Girls Open All Buttons To Make The Atmosphere Hot."

"What does a cat call a bowl of mice ? A purrfect meal !"

"What do you do to an elephant with three balls? Walk him."

"People that pronounce vase like ""voz"" make me want to punch them in the foz."

"How do assassins pay for stuff on the internet? hitcoin"

"A co-worker of mine vocally disapproved with my proposal to ban pyrotechnics in nightclubs... I told her to give her rebuke a rest."