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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary."

Next Joke
 
"Bernie has a fucked up Campaign Slogan. As a Jew, why the fuck would his campaign slogan be ""Feel the Bern""? Love the guy, best canidate, a bit flawed and optimistic. Don't kill me bernie bros."
"You were a great man, Christopher Columbus ... ... to think you had the foresight of giving me work off 5 centuries later."
"When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a ""mean drunk"" or a ""happy drunk."" Gets me out of it every time."
"You shouldn't say mean things about the illiterate you should write them"
"A termite walks into a pub and asks... ...is the bar tender here?"
"Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!"
"Calm down, people on FB who ran the Detroit marathon. I'd be running a shit load too if I were in Detroit."
"what is your least favorite type of sandwich? Whoops, wrong sub."
"What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster? You pop up all night."