66897
Joke of the Day
"Who called it your foot falling asleep and not coma toes?"
Next Joke
"How many Emos does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer to cry in the dark."
"Technology Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"
"What's a mathematician's favorite plant? Geometry"
"Wife: ""I've made the chicken soup"" ""Thank god for that. I thought we had to eat it!"""
"How do you know if a Russian vampire is gay? If Vladimir Putin it in the butt."
"The most romantic restaurant in the world is not as dimly lit as the operating room on a TV medical drama."
"My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say 'It's so cold out!' and I say 'It's winter' and then we silently hate each other."
"I got an invite to a wedding that said ""black tie only""... But when I got there, everyone else was in tuxedos."
"I should have known my son was stealing from his road construction job, but every time I came home I guess I just ignored all the signs."