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Joke of the Day

"I lost 15 pounds so far, another 15 to go, but... I do not want to get circumsized"

"*knock knock* Go away I'm not home ""I can hear you"" I can hear you too..go away ""I brought food"" What kind of food"

"You're the shampoo in the eyes of my life."

"I love how Simba acts upset when Mufasa dies as if he didn't just do a choreographed musical number called ""I Just Can't Wait To Be King""."

"What does a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common? They both thought ""my Mom's gonna kill me."""

"Apple Computer is taking steps to protect user privacy. Their new policy is iWon't tell...iPromise"

"I used to go to church as a kid. I got so tired of having to kneel, and sit and stand-up all the time. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"I am so glad that I poop in a toilet, rather than a bag. Given that I did that for 14 months of my life, perspective is a nice thing."

"They say she has a sharp tongue. Yes she can slice bread with it."

"What's the difference between a joke and a retorical question?"