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Joke of the Day

"I used to go to church as a kid. I got so tired of having to kneel, and sit and stand-up all the time. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album."

"A boy asks his father The difference between up and down. His Father says 'You don't have up syndrome'."

"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won't go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game; I'll play mine."

"What does a vampire drink while on a diet? Blood Light."

"What do Michael Jackson and Mcdonalds have in common? They both stick their meat between 13yo buns."

"A touchy-CNN reporter, while interviewing a Marine sniper asked, ""What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?"" The Marine shrugged and replied, ""Recoil."""

"A prisoner walks in to a bar Drunken repost of my favorite joke in the world"

"Lesbian Pick Up Line ""Hey girl, you wanna go swimming? We can do the scissor kick."""

"My brother was in a car accident yesterday and lost his left arm and left leg. Well actually, he's not my brother... he's my half-brother. He's all right now."