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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one that you have to care for and nurture for 18 years."

"My favourite joke at the moment... How do you get an elephant in to a plastic bag? First you take the 'T' out of 'Tesco', what do you get? Esco. Then you take the 'F' out of 'Weigh', what do you get?"

"I'm starving. I haven't eaten all year."

"My last relationship was so bad, it featured Pitbull."

"Two Apple Farmers, a baby, and an extremely agitated Sugar Glider walk into a bar... ... ... ... ... ... I don't remember how it ends but your mothers a whore."

"What's the definition of relative humidity? The sweat that accumulates under your balls when you're fucking you're sister."

"A physicist is sitting in a bar looking glum... ...so the bartender asks him ""Hey man, what's the matter?"" The physicist replies, ""Everything."""

"A Chinese man goes to the doctor because of failing eyesight. DR. ""Mr. wong it looks like you have a cataract."" Mr. Wong "" No no I drive Rincon."""

"If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem."

"What did Cinderella say when the got to the ball? She didn't say anything, she just gagged."